Why
therapy?
Therapy lets you have a different kind of conversation. Close friends or family might provide support and understanding, but it’s rare to be listened to in such a way that you get to discover new things about yourself or clear blocks that have stood in your way for years.
​
Some people come to therapy with a specific issue. They may be able to name depression, anxiety, fear, relationship problems, addictions or unpredictable mood swings. Isolation, career difficulties, sexual identity or sexuality generally are also areas that people come to therapy to explore and clarify.
Finding the right therapist is the first step, so I hope you find helpful information here, about how I work and about therapy in general. If you have any further questions, do get in touch.
how i work
I trained over five years at CCPE in London, and as part of this, gained invaluable experience at the Terrence Higgins Trust, The Cardinal Hume Centre, and the Cassel Hospital. Before this I spent a couple of decades working, reasonably happily, in the advertising and television industries.
My school of training is named Integrative Transpersonal therapy. What this means in practice is that I'm able to draw on a number of approaches, including Psychodynamic, Gestalt, Transactional Analysis (TA) and CBT, whilst remaining open to the spiritual or energetic aspect of a person's experience (that's the 'trans' in transpersonal). The body and mind are found to be intimately connected in this approach - as Bessel van der Kolk said, 'The Body Keeps the Score’ - so life experience and trauma, as it relates to the body as well as to the mind, can form a part of someone’s work.
How all or any of these approaches combine depends entirely on each person. What hurts or what matters leads the way.
​
I see clients in London, in Cambridge (CB1) and on Zoom when necessary.
There's more information below, but if you have any further questions, feel free to contact me at hawkespsychotherapy@gmail.com
COUPLES
Couples come to counselling for a number of reasons. They may have reached a point of crisis that no amount of discussion (or arguing) can resolve. Communication may have broken down and one or both partners may feel hurt, neglected, misunderstood or abandoned. They may just want to rediscover something that's been lost - emotional or physical - or find a new way forward now that life circumstances have changed.
​
Committing to a regular weekly session where issues can be explored safely, grievances aired and a new kind of listening experienced, is in itself a powerful step forward.
some of the QUESTIONS people bring to THERAPY
"how come I'm CONFIDENT IN ONE SITUATION BUT COLLAPSE IN ANOTHER?"
Confidence comes and goes. But why should one particular person or situation seem to have so much power over the way we feel and behave? Is it possible to find out? If so, might some new insights change the way we respond to the outside world?
"what would it be like to wake up without DREAD of the day ahead?"
Fear and anxiety play their part in a healthy human life. But when anxiety is a permanent state of being, or a cyclical pattern, it becomes important to find ways of coping and, ultimately, discover the root cause.
"why don't i enjoy anything anymore?"
Depression can be debilitating. It can rob our lives of colour and energy. Where does it come from? Can it be lifted? Naming it can be difficult, but even just acknowledging and exploring it can begin to loosen its grip.
"WHY CAN NO ONE MAKE ME FEEL AS BAD ABOUT MYSELF AS SHE CAN?"
How can one person still hold so much power over us? They might live thousands of miles away, or even have died long ago, but here they are in our lives - or our heads - criticising, undermining and blocking us from our full potential. Is there anything we can do to change this?
"no one showed me how to be a man - what does that word even mean?"
How is a boy meant to know how to grow into a 'man'? Are other men a threat or a resource in this process? Is masculinity inherently toxic? Are feelings a sign of weakness or strength? Must sex always be linked with shame? These are the questions many men feel they are alone with.
"i survived boarding school, but what did it cost me?"
Many of those sent away to school were told it was "for their own good". For some it was indeed a privileged advantage, but for others it was a subtly, or not-so subtly traumatising experience. Might seeing how the past plays a role in our life today be a liberating discovery?
"WHY can't I stop?"
Addiction takes many forms: alcohol, drugs, sex, porn and gambling. But it also comes in more pervasive, socially acceptable forms such as gaming, work, shopping and screens. Why does a habit or substance become essential in the first place? Might looking at the underlying causes help ease the problem?
these are just some of the questions
people come to therapy to explore. For many, the question is simply,"could I be happier?" And that's as good a place as any to start.
THE GOOD NEWS
It's not always easy - and it almost always requires a degree of courage and commitment - but in many cases, a period of therapy can alleviate and transform difficult issues and unhappy life situations.
Next steps
You'll probably have questions, and of course, it will be in meeting each other that we'll find out if I'm the right therapist for you.
​
Email me and we can arrange a first session, free of any obligation to continue.
If you then feel you would like to continue, and I have availability that suits your schedule, we would choose a weekly slot that would be yours for the duration of your therapy.
​
Each therapy session lasts 50 minutes - a bit more for couples - and usually takes place once a week at the same regular time.
I have a limited number of lower cost slots which become available from time to time.
​
I have a contract that sets out fees, timing, holidays and cancellation notice, all of which we can discuss in that first session. Feel free to ask me questions in your email as well.